Familiar with tragedy.

We have all had some kind of tragedy that has touched our lives in one form or another. Not one of us are immune from tragedy or struggles in our lives. But what if you have so much tragedy and trials that you can’t even enjoy the happy times because of the fear of the next thing coming?

What can you do when you have had some many hard times that you can’t seem to find solid ground to rebuild on. When you feel swallowed up in this dark cloud no matter what you do to get to the light.

I am feeling that now. For the last several years we have had one trial after another and I am being weighed down by this unbearable pressure. I want to be happy and go lucky but I am in this mud that is so heavy and I sink a little more each day.

I have many many things to be thankful for and I am thankful for them. I try not to take my family or friends for granted I try and do the things that used to make me happy but I’m not finding that same joy I once felt.

When I was younger there was this man who called me smiley! It made my day when I got to see him and he would say Hey smiley thanks for making my day better. He told my mother once that he had never seen a happier child than me. I was happy! I had all I needed and I was happy! So what happened?

I have been through a lot in my life and for many years the trials and tragedy that entered into my life didn’t seem to affect that smile of mine, but now that’s not the case. I know that I am not the only one that feels this way or who has gone through many trials in there life. I used to take such pride that I could face a problem head on an still keep a positive attitude. I want to be that person again.

But now it’s all I can do to make simple decisions. I can’t focus on things, I get stressed over the tiniest obstacles and I am extremely exhausted! I smile still but not like I used to. 

As I look at myself and my life I realize I’m responsible for my happiness. I can let these trials take my feet out from under me or I can make the best of the situation and learn from it. Some of the best lessons are hard learned. I have two wonderful children who are looking to me for an example of how to hand the struggles of life and I need to show them that even though life hits you hard you can keep moving forward and progress in this life.

It’s ok to have bad days where you need to take a break and cry it out or whatever you do, but we can’t get stuck there. It’s ok to not smile every second of everyday, but you need to smile each day. Place people in your life that are positive and can lift you up. 

Don’t dwell on the negative. Negative thoughts will creep in you have to find a way to be vigilant about getting them out of your mind and replacing them with positive thoughts. Place quotes around your house so you can see them each day and change them out so you have something new each week. 

Help others. When you are depressed or wallowing in self pity it is extremely hard to look past yourself and see others needs. But this is exactly what you need to do. Giving service sends positive signals to our minds that can change our thinking. “When you lose yourself in service you find yourself!” 

Love yourself! This is an very important process and also a very hard one. You have to find your good and worth. You need to know you have something to offer the world! There is a reason you are having these trials. You are strong and become stronger with each trial. God put you where you are for a reason and you are good enough and strong enough to overcome what is placed before you.

Trials and struggles will continue to come. Unfortunately I matter what you do or how good of a person you are you are not immune to trials. This alone can be frustrating. The knowledge that you are struggling now and there is more to come is overwhelming! Take one day at a time. Don’t worry about what hasn’t happened. That’s when you lose the happiness of today.

“Enjoy the little things in life……. for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things” Robert Brauit

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Mothers Day!

Mother’s Day is a day we let our mothers know there efforts and long hours do not go unnoticed. We tell them how much we appreciate them and love them.

I know I have heard from some mothers that they reflect on what they have accomplished (or not accomplished) so far and compare themselves to other mothers, and that this can be a very hard day for them.

Well STOP IT! You are you! You are the right mother for your kids! If there are somethings you want to get better at then work on them. But never compare your parenting to another’s. We do what works for us. As long as we are striving to become the best us, that’s good enough.

So enjoy the day! Spend it with those you love and don’t get down!

My mother passed away a few months ago and this has been the hardest week for me since her passing. All the Mother’s Day commercials and advertising has hit me right in the face, a constant reminder (like I don’t think about it constantly) that my mother will not be here this year. I cannot tell her how much I appreciate her making me laugh and always being so forgiving. I cannot give her a big bear hug and ask for all the parenting advice that I still need. I can’t go for our traditional walk and reminisce about all the fun things she did with us as children.

I know she is here and watching over me. And that she knows all those things mentioned above, now more than ever. She knows she is loved.

So on this Mother’s Day, tell your mother how much she means to you. Those of you who are mothers accept those compliments and enjoy all the crazy that is in your life. Because one day the house will be silent and you will wish for just a patter of little feet or dirty hand prints. 

Enjoy your day and know that the world could not keep going without mothers! You are good enough!

With love,

Music

“Behind every favorite song is an untold story.”

Music can calm the soul, heal the pain within your heart, encourage you to live your dreams, teach you to fly and give you hope.

Music touches each of us differently. Each of us express our love for music in different ways also. It touches a place within us that some keep locked away, it opens us up to others and things we may never have even hoped for. 

They have now started studies on the affect music has on pain. It has been proven that music can actually stop pain. Different music for different people and pain. It helps with depression and anxiety and can make you a generally happier person. 

So go find some good music and let your heart and soul heal from the pains of the world! Let your heart delight in the melody and let your mind get lost in the lyrics!

Let music be an outlet for you and all those around you.

Happiness

Wake up everyday being thankful to be alive! We only get this one life. Don’t waste it being angry or unhappy. You can better your life by just deciding that no matter what life throws at you, you can still be happy! 

Find something to be happy about today!

Thankfulness

Today on this 2016 Thanksgiving I am thankful for all the wonderful people in my life. Those who have made me who I am. Those who have stuck by me and helped me through all the hard times.

I have wonderful people in my life and I’m sure you all do also. Sometimes those that support us and make us the best we can be are not always who you would expect. Everybody’s support system looks different. It doesn’t matter if they are family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, or someone you just met, everybody helps us along our journey and is in your life for a reason.

Even If you are sitting there thinking you have no one or that you’ve burned to many bridges to have support from anyone you are wrong. God places guardian angels all around us. We just have to look past ourselves to see them. So today I challenge you to really think about who you have in your life that makes it better. Think of maybe the lady you walk past everyday on your way to work that smiles and gives you that lift you need to get through your day. Or maybe it’s the waitress at the cafe who always  gives you an extra refill at no charge. Or maybe it’s the guy in the next cubical who listens to your struggles with no judgements. Whoever they are they help shape you.

Everybody has times when they feel like they are lost and have nobody that truly cares about them, but I promise you can always find someone that cares if you get past your hurt feelings, judgements, prejudice, or being offended you can see there are people all around that want to help and be your friend if you will allow them. 

Take this opportunity to really find what and who you’re grateful for.

Refinement 

Your mistake should not define you but refine you. 

We are made up of so many parts and pieces. Our personalities, happiness, compassion, kindness, feelings, and so forth are not a result of one action or experience. They change as we experience new things or struggle through something hard. That’s how we grow and become better human beings!

“You are wiser, stronger and smarter because you made mistakes in your life.” (Taylor Swift)

I have made so many mistakes and messed up so many times in my life that there is no way I could count them. But those mistakes and trials have made me a better person. They have given me understanding and patience with others as they struggle through life. I am more compassionate and loving towards those that others look at and shake their heads and walk away.

Everyone changes! There’s the saying that a tiger can’t change their stripes. Well maybe not, but a human is constantly changing, physically, mentally and emotionally. If we didn’t change over the years we wouldn’t learn, we couldn’t progress into someone better.

This is what we should all strive for. To be better people. More kind, forgiving, loving, wiser, happier. These are all things we should be striving towards. Yes people get stuck in a rut, but they do not have to stay there. We choose to change, we make the decision that we want something better for us and those around us and then we go get it. And in the process we change. 

Going through a trial in your life, whatever it may be, will help you find something that is buried deep inside you. Trials help us discover who we really are. Our strengths and weaknesses, our passions, our talents, and just being able to see the good on others. These are a few of the things that we discover as we face trials.  
In the end we become better people because we didn’t give up and made it through! As we go through these struggles we can lean on friends, family, God, strangers even, to help us make it through. Showing vulnerability does not make us weak it makes us human. We can not do it on our own. That’s why we have such amazing people around us, and a loving Heavenly Father, we need all the help we can get. When we finally reach the end of the trial we can look back and say it wasn’t so bad because we had a great support system.

That doesn’t mean the trials are over though. There will be others. Trials continue to come as we evolve into truly loving human beings and spread that love to those around us. 

We will never be perfect and that is ok! But through our trials we can be refined into the best us we can be.

Loving Yourself

Loving yourself seems like an easy enough statement. But in this crazy world we live in it is probably the hardest thing to actually do.

All around us every single day there are pictures, articles, books, videos, etc. telling us what and how we need to change to become what the world sees as perfect. We are bombarded by constant criticism! We’re not skinny enough, smart enough, are skin isn’t perfect, we aren’t doing enough with our lives, We don’t have enough money or the right clothes, the list goes on and on.

But what if we just loved ourselves for who we are? What if we all supported each other and our differences? What if we realizes that being different is what makes each of us so special and we loved each other for those differences?We have to love ourselves before we can love others. We have all heard this statement before. Is it true? I don’t think so. I unconditionally love my husband and children! But I really fight loving myself. My husband is constantly telling me that I’m to hard on myself and I need to give me a break! 


I am constantly striving for perfection, which we all should be doing, but we can’t get down on ourselves when we make mistakes or we come up short. We are all human and we are going to make mistakes! That’s why we are here! We need to learn to love ourselves just the way we are. 

You can’t start into a relationship with someone thinking about all the ways you want to change them. That never works out! So you have to love that person just the way they are. You have to also have this same attitude when it comes to loving yourself. You shouldn’t have to conform to the worlds view of what’s perfect. Nobody is perfect! 

We want to improve everyday. This is how we grow. But we need to make sure we are doing it in a healthy way. You need to encourage yourself to be better tomorrow than you were today. Don’t get down on yourself for falling short. Just look at the day and see what went wrong and fix it for tomorrow.

Be you! Strive to become the perfect you! 

You are beautiful, courageous, caring, wonderful, strong and good. We can always be better, but don’t let this stop you from living yourself the way you are now!